Operation Happy Part I: Admit & Make a Change

Lately I've been sad. I don't think that's a surprise to any of you with the posts of suckiness or missing-ness that have appeared on this blog lately. But lately-er, or, more recently, rather, I've been making my way back to normal. See, when I posted the Back in the Game post, I was finding my way out of a hole I'd been digging for who knows how long, but I'm not even kidding... two days later, I got some shocking news, and it sucker punched me--- it was a cheap shot!--- and, well, I've been gone for a while. But I'm back because I meant what I said. I'm tired of being tired and done with being sad.

So part one of my ingenious plan to be happy was to just admit I wasn't. I wasn't happy. And I wanted to do something about it. So I started writing to a friend. And I started exploring myself once again. I branched out and found some new music. I am slowly but surely working my way back to functional.

But yeah, while I do that, all of the things will suffer. I'm sorry. I'll try to post on Home and Elsewhere eventually but right now, I just need time to recuperate. I know you understand. So I won't go on about that any longer.

Instead, I have to tell you guys the kinda bad news. The kinda bad news is that I kinda only have half a crew for my webseries. BUT I have an idea for a different one that could maybe--- MAYBE--- include you.

If you have a camera (an actual camera, a camcorder, a vid cam, a cam that does both, or hey! Even a webcam!) and if you would like to be part of an original series scripted by yours truly, then you should email me at myticketsomewhere@gmail.com by May 15th. Because you know who doesn't fail me? You guys. You never fail me. So why not make something cool together? Or cool-ish? Cool-ish is good too.

If you have friends who might be interested in helping out, I'd totally appreciate it. But you don't need a posse to be part of this. You just need a camera and one someone to be in front of it. And hey! That one someone could be you! Just email me saying you're interested, because with a project like this, I want to make sure I have a functional group and that could be with as little as three people up to fifty bazillion. Kidding!

So that's it. This is the first step I'm taking toward happiness. And lookit that! You can totes take it with me. You know you want to. You know you want me to want you to want to!

Love,
Deserae
P.S. Thanks Talia for the song recommendation!

Commenting on Comments

Sonal- Your comments always help. Thank you and do take up a challenge like that of your own. It's quite helpful!

Maya- You didn't get too religious at all. As a Christian, I totally respect and admire people who encourage finding strength in God. Which is what I need to do. It's so hard letting go, sometimes. But I really need His might right now. Seriously. I've been flying solo far too long, my friend. I know this is all me, too. So I'm fighting it with no intention of losing. 

Nicole- Haha! Don't tell anyone but this was I plan I stole from Charlie. Yes, yes, I'm trying to remain positive. Because positive is good, right? That's what I keep telling myself, anywho.

In Which I Ask a Favor

I know you guys love me. And you know I love you, too! But lately... lately I've been blogging and it feels like I'm talking to myself. Not here! You guys at this blog are great, and I adore that you talk back to me. I mean on Elsewhere and Home--- the blogs I've been spending the most time on because they kind of demand that attention.

An online book club is kinda hard to run if I don't get the posts up "on time" (i.e. every day).

But it's also hard to run without participating members and so far, I've been reading by myself. WELL... not ALL by myself. Truth is, I wouldn't still be doing it if Aria hadn't been such a supportive bud to me. She's been to every Liveshow (minus one), she read TFiOS even though she didn't want to, and although she can't comment on everything (stupid Blogger), we still manage to have hilarious and actually insightful conversations about the books she CAN get to when Elsewhere features them. So I guess what I'm asking is...

Be Aria for me. Not literally and not EXACTLY. What I mean is, if you like Elsewhere, Home, or heck! If you just like me, try to check in on those, too, when you can. When a book interests you, read along and let me know you're reading! I love talking about books, but I'm kind of tired of talking to myself... LITERALLY. And if none of the books interest you, RECOMMEND SOME. I don't mind running to the bookstore and getting a new book that you know or believe will be good.

I know it's a weird time to be asking such a thing. We're all busy taking exams, trying to finish strong, working EXTRA hard, blah, blah, blah... I mean, you saw how I was freaking out about this quarter! I don't NEED the extra burden of an online book club, but you know why I do it? For you guys. Because I seriously, SERIOUSLY believe that there are three things that bring us together in this world. Only three. And among them are these: God (or fate--- whatever you believe), music, and the written word. I keep Elsewhere and Home going because I wake up every day thinking, "Well maybe someone will stumble upon this and really need some inspiration." I honestly wake up every morning and think, "Okay, I'll post by such and such o'clock so that whoever's keeping up with Elsewhere will have what they need for the day."

But today, I had an epiphany. I realized, quite sadly, that I'm alone there--- on Elsewhere and at Home. And so, although I know you won't be able to buy every book for every week, nor will you like every book I suggest, I ask that you just check in! Once a month. Check out the calendar and then drop me a line saying, "Hey! I'm with you for that week you're reading, BLAH," or, "Hey! Love what you're doing. Maybe you can read SUCH AND SUCH next month? Not really feeling these selections." Yeah, yeah. I'm an optimist. Join the club! It's nice up here.

And if you honestly just CAN'T, know that I understand. Gosh. Book clubs aren't for everyone, online or otherwise. And it is time--- I know that. But you know what I would love? If you recommended it to someone else. If you can't read a book a week, you can still share the joy of reading to one person a week. Throw a book at them with a slip of paper that has the blog URL in it. I don't know! Be creative! But I'll only be trying this out all the way through AUGUST. If it doesn't pick up by then, well, I'm going to have to rethink some things. Life is just getting too hectic for me to be wasting time. Do you think what I'm doing with Elsewhere is a waste of time? At first I didn't think so, but Idk; you lot tell me.

Love ya'll and thanks in advance. I know. I ask the world of you. But one cannot receive good things if one never asks for them.

Have an awesome weekend!
Deserae

Commenting on Comments

Sonal- SUMMER! Oh thank you for that beautiful image. Yes, summer is what we aim for. You're right. Just gotta keep going I suppose!

Karly- Don't be afraid! Gosh. I made that sound horrible, didn't I? See, college is awful, but it's not the end of the world. Just like high school isn't the end of the world. It's an edge, but it only lets out into an ocean. Who knows what's waiting on the shores of the other side? I'm going to get through it. I'll push through it, I swear. I have yet to hear about difficult classes killing someone so I'll likely live to tell the tale. I promise to take back everything I said if I get through it. Pinky promise. Because if I can do it, you can. No doubts about it. :)