Thursday, April 19, 2012

Back in the Game

Last time I posted, I was in a weird place. I felt like I was neither here nor there, and I had to ask myself what it was that kept me going.

Well, Sonal said something that I realize is totally true for me, as well. She said the thing that motivates her is "...Knowing that whatever I do in life, even if I make mistakes along the way, I will always have awesome friends and family to talk to and cheer me up when I'm feeling my worst." And I feel SO similarly. I have my friends and my family and I have you guys as this constant support network, that, even when I feel like I'm making my way across a tightrope, all of you guys are going to be there to catch me if or when I fall.

It amazes me how you don't even know my family or my other friends or some of you don't even know each other, but you still find a way to support ME. I am constantly reminded that people are God's most beautiful creations, and each individual effort adds up in a monumental way.

I can't say I know what I'm doing. Even as I type this, I know I'm doing an incredibly stupid thing that I am going to be held accountable for in the very near future. But I also know that the decision I'm making is mine. I know that tomorrow is another day. And with the combination of these two things, my hope is that TOMORROW, the decisions I make will be a little bit better.

That's why I'm deciding TODAY that starting TOMORROW, things are going to be a little bit different for me. Every day from now until the end of the school year, I'm going to devote an hour of my day to doing two things: the first half an hour will be used for Greek, and the second half an hour will be used for writing. I can't really punish myself for not sticking to this, but I can reward myself for doing it. And for every five days I stick to this thing, I will allow myself a TREAT (read: a new book). This new book thing will be good for the next thirty days. After that, I'll have to reward myself in other ways.

I'm just trying to give myself a fighting chance. 'Cause those are nice. And we all need them, I think.


Commenting on Comments

Sonal- Thanks for your comment. It honestly meant the world to me. <3

Shout out to Aria- Thanks for listening. :)


  1. I wish you the best of luck with your plan, Des. It's a very clever idea. I might have to use it in the future! And I'm so glad my comment helped.

    Love always
    Sonal xox

  2. I not only sympathise, but empathise with you. Lately, I don't exactly know what's come over me, but I feel myself beginning to consider crossing boundaries I haven't dreamed of doing since my dark ages, grade seven. The difference is that this time 'round I KNOW it's wrong but that little voice inside my head doesn't agree. My conscience is fighting for control but nothings working.
    But like Sonal said you have us, your friends and family to support ya. And most importantly--God. Even if it doesn't seem like He's listening remember that He's always there, patient and watching over you. Things like this are a test and as long as you rely on Him, He'll help :)
    Sorry if I got too religious there. Right now, I'm clinging onto the very reminder of His presence to help me out
    Lots of love, xox, Maya

  3. Yay for optimism! I've found lately that I've been a bit pessimistic, and that's caused me to be so depressed and down. However, looking on the bright side of things has made me much happier!
    Good luck with your plan! I'm sure it will work very well! I must do something similar soon! (Do not fret, I shall give you all the credit for the idea!)