The older I get, the faster time seems to move. Birthdays come and go; new years rise and fall; seasons flourish and pass.
Yet I seem to be unchanged, no matter what happens in between.
This is an ever-present lie I tell myself because I'd like to believe I'm an adversary to change, rather than a low-key believer. But as I look around my dirty, but distant apartment-- farther from anything comfortable or familiar than I've ever been in life-- I am feeling time rushing not away from but toward me. February hit me like a hurricane. And I already feel March creeping (no, sprinting) on up.
Today is Feb. 6, I return to work on the 11th. I'm taking a Korean language class starting on the 27th. Most likely, I'll be meeting up with a friend sometime in between.
And though I'm excited and looking forward to each day, I feel time lurching forward. It's hard not to wonder, "How do I enjoy today--- this moment?" I keep rushing ahead and at this rate it will be August. It feels like I have to decide now, aqui, ahora, what I'll be doing with my whole life. It's like college apps all over again, only there isn't a two year buffer zone where I can up and change majors, change my mind.
Time is moving.
So am I.
I think I'm just nervous because in about three days, I'll be meeting Angel Friend's parents. And Angel Friend's parents do not English. So I have to use Korean.
And I WANT to take the conversation level class, but am I ready? I need time, much more time. I need to study. So why am I doing this instead?
I'm freaking out because time is running up to me. It's running and it's waving like, "Heeeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!" And part of me wants to say hi back, but it's kinda awkward because the other part wants to run the other way. I know time is bound to eventually catch up with me. Can I be brave now and fake confidence? Or is it too late to break out the running shoes and run away?
This post will probably be deleted soon. Or maybe I'll just change the video to something more attractive when I'm not tired and looking for something to do besides homework.
Love you guys mucho,
Deserae
P.S. Didn't forget the song! Here it is!
Commenting on Comments
Arianna- Thank you for commenting! I know what you're saying, but I think what I'm looking for this time around is just that extra-strength support. Not so much coaching, or critique partner eyes, but SUPPORT. Reminders that I can get words down on a paper. Inspirational quotes sent on Twitter. Encouraging lies about being the very best that no one ever was... There are quite a few of you guys who are doing NaNo and who've vowed to help me so you can all tag team! Yay! I'm trying not to look at the habits and bad experiences I've had in the past and am looking more toward focusing on getting through it this time. So positiveness, I think, is what'll really help and I don't want to put all that "pressure" on just you! I've got people! (I think!)
Prerna- You're an angel! Thank you! I think it really boils down to knowing what I can and cannot do. 25,000 words is cake (KNOCK ON WOOD). So if I do the two projects with these smaller goals, I'm more likely to finish. And maybe next year I can devote the whole 50K to one project! We'll see! I get SO distracted by the internet it's ridiculous. But I do know how lucky I am to have people cheering for me so thank you for that! THAT in itself is amazing and I promise to repay you in some way (let's pull a Rumple and say I owe you a favor. :])
Nicole- I've missed you, too! Your posts have been coming into my email so I've been keeping up from afar. But nothing's the same as this, you know? Actually talking with you? I've missed it so much BUT am glad you're doing so well! It makes me happy. Happier than Yogi Bear with a pic-ah-nic basket. I, too, am excited to see what I'll bring forth in November. 'Tis a mystery to me, but it's all planned out at least. Just needs to be WRITTEN. You're right about my life not being nearly as bad as I make it out to be, but seriously. School is not my thing. I'm here because I have to be. I love learning, but school? BLEH! Thanks for your warm wishes and luck. I will gladly accept all the luck you can throw my way so wrestle a unicorn if you can!!! You REALLY need to tell me more about this boy, Missy. The only boy news I have has to do with these guys, and... welp... We both know that that's not nearly as exciting as real life. :) Talk to me soon, yeah?
I wasn't going to post today, but I wrote a song the other day for a book I'm writing. Of course.
The idea behind it came from one of my infamous mid-night thinking sessions. Sometimes, I'll wake up at three o'clock in the morning with a thought that just won't go away until I battle it out of my head. The other night, I was thinking about memory and--- well, to avoid going into the ENTIRE philosophical debate I'd had with myself I'll skip a bit--- I came to the conclusion that the person I call ME is only ME because of my thoughts and my memories.
We can definitely talk more about this in depth if you were curious how (or why) I just decided that randomly in the middle of the night, but the point, I guess, is that the revelation that I was merely memory made me think about that old nursery rhyme "Row, Row, Row Your Boat." If you don't remember it, here's the gist of it:
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream...
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
This sparked a whole other discussion with myself that started with me freaking out about existence, my place in the world, et cetera, et cetera, but ended with me thanking the Lord God Almighty that life isn't nearly as serious as we paint it to be. Believe me. I understand the importance of LIVING life. Why not? You only die once, after all. But if I'm just a memory, then that F I got in high school is just a memory and I can move past it. If yesterday was a whole twenty four hours but I literally only retained about five foggy facts, then nothing that happens today can actually touch me when tomorrow comes, can it? Not if I don't let it. Not if I can leave it in the past and walk away.
I know there are things we have to face, have to deal with. I'm not saying we shouldn't deal. I'm saying we shouldn't dwell.
Here are the lyrics to the song inspired by this crazy night of existential thinking. Perhaps one day, I'll work up the nerve to sing it for you.
"Life is but a Dream" by an opticALlusion
Row, row your boat gently down the stream
It's a good thing we all know that life is but a dream
Although it's fun while it lasts it was
fun while it lasted, yeah.
So, so it goes we are tethered by these strings
Made from torn up pantyhose and some broken bits of things
But somehow we all manage we've
all seemed to manage, yeah.
And I plead with you--- don't you see the truth?
Who knew the sun was a lie?
Guess we always did. Chose not to notice it.
Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh... Yeah life is grand
Even when you're stuck in the middle.
Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh... It's all pretend
But we'll just dance up until the end---
Right up to the end.
Tap, tap your toes to the great cacophony
Of our long forgotten hopes and our dried up misery
Because we know it don't matter, no,
none of it matters, yeah.
Ha ha we're going so fast we cannot see
The blurry visions of our pasts, of the whos we used to be
Like a mirror they shatter, our
reflections have shattered, yeah.
Did we live at all, if the bluff's been called?
If we don't wake, at least we dreamed.
I can see the end; let the fun begin.
Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh... Yeah life is grand
Even when you're stuck in the middle.
Oh, oh oh, oh oh oh oh... It's all pretend
But we'll just dance up until the end---
Right up to the end.
Take care, Lovelies! Have a wonderful week,
Deserae
P.S. I love the song here. It's "The Man Who Isn't There" by Oren Lavie. If you love it, love it lots. If you don't love it, what is wrong with you?
P.P.S. I forgot! One more thing! If you like short story contests where each and every entry is judged and looked at, get a Figment account (or sign into your old one) and try your hand at their Defy the Dark contest. Entries are due September 1st, but that's so doable, and anyone can enter!
Commenting on Comments
Arianna- Haha! I am the Queen of Linkage. Do you think they will raise a monument to honor my linktitude?
Maya- Girl, get your YouTube account ah-sap! So many awesome things to get into. So much to see. So much to share with thee!!!
Robin- Aww, thank you for coming to see me! I loved your comments on the posts as well. Were you entered? Which story was yours? Personally, I'm not too thrilled about the thriller either! But that's just 'cause I'm a big ole scaredy cat. ISLA and this mysterious fifth Perkins novels are the projects I'm most looking forward to by her. I, too, enjoyed ANNA best, but is it horrible that I wasn't the biggest fan of Anna and Etienne? Don't get me wrong, I love the story as a whole. But whenever I think about THEM, about their relationship, about the process of them getting together... I don't know. I could never fully love them like everyone else did. Again, thanks for stopping by! I look forward to getting to know you via the glorious interwebs.
I really miss doing these on My Ticket Elsewhere. I really miss Elsewhere and Home in general, but without my laptop, ALL OF THE THINGS have been lacking. Ag.
But today, I bring you news from the interwebs! I always find a way to stay connected, even when I can't directly be involved (I'm such le old lady neighbor). Drum roll, please?
FIRST, on ze YouChoobs, British web sensation Charlie McDonnell has... a girlfriend. Yes, she is lovely. Yes, I love her. Yes, a part of me hopes an' me dreams 'as died. Yes, yes... I'll be fine. Here is a video of her being cute and sweet and what not as she responds to Charlie's announcement. Linked above is a video of his announcement and the such. And you want to hear her sing? She's good at it. The only reason I consider this news is because I've been following Charlie and Bryarly's channels for... years. YEARS, I SAY! And they've secretly been dating for the past one. So yes, people. This is news. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh....
ALSO, for those of you who don't know about my favorite almost-not-quite-published authors, you MUST check out Claire Legrand and Natalie Whipple ah-sap. Claire literally has a butt-load of projects I am beyond excited for. The first of which, THE CAVENDISH HOME FOR BOYS AND GIRLS comes out in less than three weeks! EEP!!! Besides that, she is made of awesome. Unicorn-loving awesome. I adore her. With Natalie, though, I have a different kind of respect. I've been following her progress for the past two (and a half) years. I knew her when she went through a change in agents... when she got her first book deal for the 2013 release of TRANSPARENT... And I continue to follow her, to respect her for her kindness. For her words. For her wisdom and her advice. Every time she posts something, it inspires me. It helps me. So I'm sharing her with you. Her latest bit of writerly goodness has inspired me to stop doubting myself and to go for the gusto; maybe it'll help you, too.
LAST, but not least, Auror's Tale. Have you heard about it? Going to watch it? You should. Here is why.
Alright, All. Take care, and have all the warm wishes from all of the warm places.
Nicole- I love that you love Young the Giant! But bleg! Sorry orientation was a bit boringish. School is creeping up on you, Lassie... Use your super-awesome-ninja-tactics to make sure it doesn't follow Orientation's lead.
I've been thinking lately, and as you know that's a dangerous thing. I've been thinking about...
...what it means to be a friend--- a good one.
...how secrets, once known, can literally change everything.
I've been thinking about change and, thanks to Maya, about how it's not always a bad thing...
I've been thinking about my stories, my characters... about if my dreams have changed...
I think things like:
Maybe I'm just meant to help other people.
Or maybe I just need to start helping myself.
Or perhaps there's a middle ground? One I'm overlooking?
Perhaps I am too lazy for this profession.
And then I think, "NO! THIS IS WHAT I WAS BOOOOORRRRRNNNN TO DO!"
And then I think, "Ooo! Ice-cream! I wonder if The Mentalist is on. It is! SIMON BAKER!!!!"
I've been thinking about time again. About college. About my life and life in general.
I've been thinking and that's more than I've done in a long time. I'm kind of proud of myself. What have you been thinking about these days?
Lately I've been sad. I don't think that's a surprise to any of you with the posts of suckiness or missing-ness that have appeared on this blog lately. But lately-er, or, more recently, rather, I've been making my way back to normal. See, when I posted the Back in the Game post, I was finding my way out of a hole I'd been digging for who knows how long, but I'm not even kidding... two days later, I got some shocking news, and it sucker punched me--- it was a cheap shot!--- and, well, I've been gone for a while. But I'm back because I meant what I said. I'm tired of being tired and done with being sad.
So part one of my ingenious plan to be happy was to just admit I wasn't. I wasn't happy. And I wanted to do something about it. So I started writing to a friend. And I started exploring myself once again. I branched out and found some new music. I am slowly but surely working my way back to functional.
But yeah, while I do that, all of the things will suffer. I'm sorry. I'll try to post on Home and Elsewhere eventually but right now, I just need time to recuperate. I know you understand. So I won't go on about that any longer.
Instead, I have to tell you guys the kinda bad news. The kinda bad news is that I kinda only have half a crew for my webseries. BUT I have an idea for a different one that could maybe--- MAYBE--- include you.
If you have a camera (an actual camera, a camcorder, a vid cam, a cam that does both, or hey! Even a webcam!) and if you would like to be part of an original series scripted by yours truly, then you should email me at myticketsomewhere@gmail.com by May 15th. Because you know who doesn't fail me? You guys. You never fail me. So why not make something cool together? Or cool-ish? Cool-ish is good too.
If you have friends who might be interested in helping out, I'd totally appreciate it. But you don't need a posse to be part of this. You just need a camera and one someone to be in front of it. And hey! That one someone could be you! Just email me saying you're interested, because with a project like this, I want to make sure I have a functional group and that could be with as little as three people up to fifty bazillion. Kidding!
So that's it. This is the first step I'm taking toward happiness. And lookit that! You can totes take it with me. You know you want to. You know you want me to want you to want to!
Love, Deserae
P.S. Thanks Talia for the song recommendation!
Commenting on Comments
Sonal- Your comments always help. Thank you and do take up a challenge like that of your own. It's quite helpful!
Maya- You didn't get too religious at all. As a Christian, I totally respect and admire people who encourage finding strength in God. Which is what I need to do. It's so hard letting go, sometimes. But I really need His might right now. Seriously. I've been flying solo far too long, my friend. I know this is all me, too. So I'm fighting it with no intention of losing.
Nicole- Haha! Don't tell anyone but this was I plan I stole from Charlie. Yes, yes, I'm trying to remain positive. Because positive is good, right? That's what I keep telling myself, anywho.
Last time I posted, I was in a weird place. I felt like I was neither here nor there, and I had to ask myself what it was that kept me going.
Well, Sonal said something that I realize is totally true for me, as well. She said the thing that motivates her is "...Knowing that whatever I do in life, even if I make mistakes along the way, I will always have awesome friends and family to talk to and cheer me up when I'm feeling my worst." And I feel SO similarly. I have my friends and my family and I have you guys as this constant support network, that, even when I feel like I'm making my way across a tightrope, all of you guys are going to be there to catch me if or when I fall.
It amazes me how you don't even know my family or my other friends or some of you don't even know each other, but you still find a way to support ME. I am constantly reminded that people are God's most beautiful creations, and each individual effort adds up in a monumental way.
I can't say I know what I'm doing. Even as I type this, I know I'm doing an incredibly stupid thing that I am going to be held accountable for in the very near future. But I also know that the decision I'm making is mine. I know that tomorrow is another day. And with the combination of these two things, my hope is that TOMORROW, the decisions I make will be a little bit better.
That's why I'm deciding TODAY that starting TOMORROW, things are going to be a little bit different for me. Every day from now until the end of the school year, I'm going to devote an hour of my day to doing two things: the first half an hour will be used for Greek, and the second half an hour will be used for writing. I can't really punish myself for not sticking to this, but I can reward myself for doing it. And for every five days I stick to this thing, I will allow myself a TREAT (read: a new book). This new book thing will be good for the next thirty days. After that, I'll have to reward myself in other ways.
I'm just trying to give myself a fighting chance. 'Cause those are nice. And we all need them, I think.
Love, Deserae
Commenting on Comments
Sonal- Thanks for your comment. It honestly meant the world to me. <3
Hope you all had a wonderful Easter. I spent the day with my roommate, Due, next door neighbor, Veronica, and their boyfriends. Guess what we did... An Easter Egg Hunt, of course! It was a lot of fun. I hid twenty eggs in the forest behind our apartments and it took them an hour to find them all. I have to give myself a pat on the back for that. Good job, Desi... Good job.
Anywho, it's Monday. I'm tired. It's supposed to rain. I am ill-prepared for my Lit and Greek classes tomorrow. At the moment, I'm pretending I don't care. I want to read stuff, but my brain is making me feel guilty for neglecting the things I SHOULD be doing. And I have to go to Training in an hour. Can you see why my stomach is in knots?
I think it's just a Monday thing. When Monday arrives, my body has this physical reaction in order to prepare my brain to get ready for the (nonexistent) SUCK that is bound to make up the rest of the week. It just wouldn't be a Monday if we didn't go through this process. I am SO proud of myself for working out my schedule in such a way that THIS DAY is not the beginning of my academic week.
But I'm writing this post to kind of say hey and kind of say sorry. I'm sorry for being out of touch lately and I promise to be better with that. I'll try to post on this blog AT LEAST once a week and I might start mixing in some writerly posts again along with the regular life updates. Just know that I love you guys and I haven't forgotten. If it seems like I have, let's just blame Monday. He, like all men, is the causer of EVERYTHING that is wrong with the world (tee-hee!).
Love, Deserae
Commenting on Comments
Presley- I checked out the blog and think it's tres chic! Thanks for checking it out, and thank Nicole for me! I adore her. Isn't she the bees knees?
Maya- No. NO. Do you hear me, Maya? NO. You're a great friend! Life gets in the way all the time. Don't you dare sweat not commenting--- I simply posted that to ask ya'll a favor. See? I was calling upon you. You guys--- and you especially--- already do so much for me. I knew asking for MORE attention might be a little selfish, but I had to ask. If I didn't, then I would still be talking circles around my own head. :) But anywho, did you see my comment on "Baby Talk?" I'm so happy for your family. I bet your little bro is just the cutest thing! So The Mortal Instruments, you say... I've been super reluctant to read that series because of some of the content, but I DO need a series challenge for July... So why not? TMI, it is. I can always rent them from the library, now that I think about it. Yes. J'adore, mon ami! Love ya, Maya. Thanks for answering my desperate plea! :)
Shout out to Nicole! Thank you for keeping me company on Elsewhere, Love. I owe you my sanity. Here--- I've even gift-wrapped it.
Yesterday was March 15th, so there's a new video on Sommertales. Sorry I look crazy. I was going crazy trying to get the audio to work and I FAILED!!!!
We've wrapped up DITCHED on Elsewhere today. Next week, we're talking about ONE DAY by David Nicholls, BUT! Don't forget you can join me tonight for a livechat! 6 PM PST, People. You know you want to talk to me about Ally Carter's CROSS MY HEART, boys, and all of the things... You need an account to use the chatroom, but that's okay! It's really quick and easy to do and I THINK if you have a Twitter account, you can use that instead. I THINK.
There are bunches of Daily Doses waiting for you to love over at My Ticket Home.
-Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
3) Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer
4) Go to their blog and tell them they've been tagged
5) No stuff in the tagging section about "you're tagged if you are reading this/follow me" blah blah blah, you have to legitimately tag people
The questions:
...That I'm Answering JUST BECAUSE...
1) Who is your favourite superhero?
I love that Maya said Harry Potter. Gosh, she's a smart kid. I'll go with an actual hero, though. Um... well... You know... IRON MAN. Without a doubt.
2) Why did you start a blog?
I had too much to say for my own good so when my friends started tuning me out, I decided to force you lot to listen to me.
3) Who is your favourite artist?
I like lots and lots of musicians so I feel this is a low blow, you guys! But I can listen to four groups over and over again without wanting to puke and they are: Coldplay, The Fray, Two Door Cinema Club, and this guy I recently stumble upon called Josh Garrels. Check it.
4) What is the most important thing (to you) in a boyfriend/girlfriend?
The same qualities that are important to me in a friend. I want someone who likes me because of all the things that I am and despite the things that I'm not... If we can be friends, then I can trust you to be more than that, I suppose.
5) What is your favourite TV show?
ONCE UPON A TIME... O!O (<< Forgive me; I have no idea what that's even supposed to mean).
6) Are you an earlybird or a nightowl?
Night owl. Hoot, hoot! (NO.)
7) Do you enjoy shopping?
(PLEASE DON'T HURT ME) Not really.
8) Sweet or salty foods?
It depends, as Maya said, on what I'm in the mood for, but USUALLY you can't go wrong with handing me something sweet.
9) What is your favourite subject in school?
Currently, Greek, but I'm not doing a very good job at showing that, am I, Desi? *shakes head at self*
Ominous Voice Over: NO YOU ARE NOT... not... not... not...
10) What's on your bucket list?
Thing #1: Create Bucket List.
Thing #2: Purchase a new bucket.
11) Have you ever met anyone famous?
I consider authors to be famous and yes, I've met plenty of those. I also got to talk with Solange, Beyonce's sister, for a bit when I was younger, but my eldest sisters... They're really the ones who have celebrity encounters. Not I.
...The ones my Tagger Assigned to Me...
1. What do you love most about your life?
I love everything about my life. Who told you otherwise? I should clock them... spreading rumors... grrrrrr...
2. If you could do anything spontaneous, what would it be?
Be spontaneous. That would be a miracle in itself.
3. What is your Zodiac sign?
I'm a Scorpio, yo.
4. Are you more of a reader or writer?
I'm a Wrider. Don't tell my mother.
5. Describe yourself in a sentence.
Caboobulaboobulabrawdlebam. I bet you like me now!
*SIDEBAR! I just came back to this question. And after some thought, although I DO feel like I'm a caboobulaboobulabrawdlebam, as stated above, here is a sentence that I've thought up that explains how I see myself:
I'm a parenthetical aside--- nothing more and nothing less--- but if I'm written correctly, I'll shed a brighter light on this sentence, that is life.
As you can see, I've answered this question in multiple sentences. Try not to be a weirdo, like me.
6. What are your childhood favourites? ( T.V characters, foods, movies, toys.)
T.V.: Um... Out of the Box/ Bear in the Big Blue House
Characters: Barney, Bear, um... I can't remember... I think I liked Big Bird?
Foods: Oh gosh, well that hasn't changed--- burgers. I'm a Cali girl through and through.
Movies: There was a Barney adventure that went back to medeival times and you had to cross a bridge and play with ribbons. So yeah.
Toys: I was not actually a child. I played with calculators and protractors while the other children... I'm just kidding! My Barbie car, of course!
7. How many languages can you speak?
One and that's plenty. But I can read well enough in three. Woohoo!
8. Favourite video game/ Song?
Don't play video games, but my current favorite song is Ulysses by Josh Garrels thank you for asking!
9. Have you ever met anyone famous?
Mmhmm! See above.
10. Which qualities do you look for in a boyfriend/girl friend?
See above.
11. What is the best moment of your life/experience?
The next one. Not everyone gets one so, you know... it's a very momentous occasion.
AND THAT IS IT! Whew! I'm beat. So now that you know the new rules, you only have to answer ONE SET OF QUESTIONS and then assign a new one (because it's just too crazy to answer more than one and then try to make a new one, too).
I'm tagging Yvonne, Nicole, and Poppy for this one but for THIS TAG! I'm interested in hearing what Arianna, Maya, and Talia have to say. I'll comment on your blogs to let you know you've been selected as the Chosen Ones.
Yvonne, Nicole, and Poppy? Here are your questions from me should you choose to accept them:
1. What would you do(ooooo!) for a Klondike bar?
2. What's your stance on giving people second, third, fourth, and infinite amount of chances?
3. If you were an animal, which would you be and why?
4. What's the most recent book you've finished and do you recommend it?
5. If your house was on fire or was flooding and you had a backpack on hand, what would you put in it?
6. Who's the most important person in your life (real or fictional) and why?
7. When life hands you lemons, what are you going to do with them?* (*Trick question*)
8. How do you usually spend your day?
9. If you had to choose one book series to read for the rest of your life, what would it be?
10. What is your favorite day of the year?
11. What scene in a movie or book sums up your life pretty genuinely?
Adieu, mon amies! I'll comment on comments next post and feel free to answer any of the questions whether you're tagged or not in the comments below, or leave links to your answers in the comments so I can read them.
I was extremely pleased to check my inbox this afternoon and:
1. ...have another very educational, insightful, and interesting conversation with Arianna about TFiOS (but trust me! You don't want to know the topic of said conversation. It was interesting, though. Let's go with that)...
2. ...see that my billing statement for school has come in and I owe thousands of dollars for next quarter that I don't yet have and will actually never see...
3. ...read the following urgent message from a Miss Prerna Pickett: "Hey, Deserae, I gave you a few awards over at my blog. Stop by and get them!"
You don't have to tell me twice, people. This is me collecting my bounty.
But, though I'm not exactly sure WHICH of the awards I was awarded, I'm not going to worry. The idea that I was given some cool Blogger awards always makes me smile and it makes my entire day. The first thing I did when I saw my BritLit buddy, Carissa, was break the news that we wouldn't be living together next year, but THEN I told her, "And I won a Blogger award!" to which she looked at me and asked, "You have a blog?"
So in honor of Carissa and Prerna and all of the people out there who put the effort into creating Blogger awards such as these, I'm going to participate in the tag! I hope it gives you even more insight into the wonder that is me.
1. What's your favorite book?
I wonder if my answer to this changes every time, but today I'm certain it's A LITTLE PRINCESS by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Correct me if I'm wrong.
2. What inspires your writing?
Fabulous questions such as these and fabulous people who don't know how awesome they really are. In truth, I'm inspired by everything. No lie. And that's probably why I have ten unfinished projects lurking around in drawers and things. Everything is wonderful. Why doesn't anyone believe me when I say these things!
3. Where's your favorite place to write?
I can write anywhere, but I like to write in a place that's either completely solitary or extremely crowded. Places in between don't do well for my creative juices (ooooooohhhhh yeeeeaaaahhhhh...)
4. If you could plan ahead, what would you want your last meal to be?
I don't know! Something DELICIOUS!!!!
5. If you had to participate in one extreme sport, what would it be?
Have you met me? Sports of any kind and I do not bode well. Why you gotta go and add an EXTREME for?!
6. What's your biggest fear?
Dying without having done all I was put on this Earth to do.
7. Vampire or werewolf?
... Were... pire...? Where's Micheal when you need him?
8. Favorite writing snack?
It's gross, but sunflower seeds. I'm pretty clean with it, but yeah... too much info, huh? Either that or Wheat Thins. The idea is something I can eat A LOT OF without dying a glutton.
9. What's your favorite scary movie?
Again: have you met me?!
10. Why did you start writing?
Because I finished my math drills several minutes before all the other chitlins and was bored. True story.
11. Your favorite day of the year?
Christmas. How I love Christmas. Or the last day of school (sweet Jesus, hallelujah!).
Big thanks to Prerna for tagging me! It's seriously an honor to be tagged by her because she's got a great group of followers who are very much devoted to the craft, to their writing, and to her so seriously, Prerna: thank you!
Also, shout out to Maya who has tagged me in a super crazy tag-a-bonanza! I will be answering those questions tomorrow do get ready to know more things you were dying (not to) know about me! Tomorrow some of you will be tagged to do either this tag or the one I do then. So watch out world! It's your turn to shine like the light from the sun!
P.S.S. If I sound crazy here or Elsewhere, it's because I am sick. I don't feel sick but I keep coughing and sneezing so it must be true. Do forgive my crazies. I mean, you're used to them for the most part but JUST IN CASE...
Commenting on Comments
Sonal- AGH! I knew I butchered it the second I tried to put it to the melody. But I am so glad you had such a wonderful fourteenth. Here is a song I hope you enjoyed on your very special day and continue to play throughout the year. I admit, it's not the most upbeat song in the world but hey! It's got "fourteen candles" in it, and the chorus rings, "And I love you, and I know you love me too," so that's got to count for something, right?
Nicole- I'm glad you, too, share my hatred for that terrible expression! Feel free to use or manipulate any of the other sayings. Because seriously... Lemons? Who thought of that?!
Prerna- Thank you so much! I appreciate you bunches!
THE ANNOUNCEMENT You know how My Ticket Elsewhere has been "under construction" for a billion years? Well, I just figured out what I want to do with it--- I've made it a book blog! If you're interested in being part of an online "book club," please check out this postlike, now! We're going to start reading together in March, but I'm announcing the March Reading List this Sunday, so why not get a head start?
THE CHALLENGE
On Sonal's blog (hey, hey, sexy thang! Seriously, have you seen her blog? It's adorable. It made me want to start playing around with blog templates so go! Go check it out!) there's this twenty question survey and I've decided to take part in it. If you want to take part in it, too, do so! Then, leave the link to your responses in the comments so I can see what you guys said, too!
1. What was the first book you remember reading? I know there were SEVERAL before this, but the book I equate to my being a "reader" is called URSULA'S UMBRELLA, so I'm going to have to go with that.
2. What book do you regret reading? I am SO cool, I have yet to read a book (recreationally) that I didn't like. Because seriously, ya'll. If you don't like a book here's what you do:
Step 1: Decide you don't like it.
Step 2: Close the book and give it to someone who lives far, far away.
End of!
3. What's your favourite genre? My favorite age group to read and write for is middle-grade, but my favorite genre is comedy and, while middle grade comedy is great, don't get me wrong!, YA humor is much easier to relate to know since my recent turn into adulthood (*dies*).
4. If you could be any literary character, who would it be? Elizabeth Bennett. Darcy? You are MINE.
5. What's your favourite series of books? Because I live and BREATHE series, I will give you my top five in a very particular order.
5. The Mysterious Benedict Society.
4. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
3. The Series of Unfortunate Events.
2. The Chronicles of Narnia.
1. The Harry Potter Series.
*Note: Only one out of five of those are found in the YA section. WORD.
6. What book do you most want to read? Right now? PERSUASION by Jane Austen. Everybody y sus madres has PERSUASION in their possession. What am I missing?! I CAN'T BE LEFT OUT, YA'LL!!!
7. What was your favourite book when you were younger? How young? When I was a toddler, young, it was ARE YOU MY MOTHER? by Dr. Seuss. Then, when I started getting older, Narnia and Hogwarts fought desperately for my attention.
8. Are there any books that you'd like to see made into movies? I agree with Sonal that SISTERS RED would make a pretty intense flick. But the one book I've been dying to see made into a film is THE MAGICIAN'S NEPHEW which is the FIRST book of the Narnia series. Filmmakers everywhere continue to skip over this one. Why?! It's my favorite of the collection!
9. If you could date a literary character, who would it be? Augustus Waters. Read THE FAULT IN OUR STARS and you will know why.
10. Where's your favourite place to read? The car. Yuuuupppp... Because I'm cool like that.
11. Do you have any signed books? Lots.
12. What was the last book you read? THE FAULT IN OUR STARS which I highly recommend as I'm reading it again this March.
13. What are you currently reading? MAZEL for my Jewish Lit. class.
14. What fictional place do you wish was real? Hogwarts. That's a given.
15. Have you ever disliked a book that a friend recommended to you? Cop out answer: *shakes fist at sky* I don't HAVE friends!
16. Are there any things that you're fussy about when it comes to books? Too many to count, but as these are personal things I can't change, I find comfort in being able to whinge about them to my sister via email (and then in a blog post if it's REALLY bad).
17. Are you fussy about book covers? Yes. I am one of those uppity schoolgirls who likes her book to look pretty (and have a connection to the material inside!).
18. Do you read reviews on a book that you want to read before reading it? Not purposely because I read reviews in order to see what I MIGHT want to read (rather than reading a review on a book I KNOW I want to read, which is different). I like to keep an open-ish mind about books, and I like to know what's out there. So I read reviews with the intention of staying informed.
19. What's the longest book you've read? Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
20. Are there any books you own that you haven't got around to reading yet? Have you seen my bookshelves?! I have a problem. I mean, sometimes I trick myself into THINKING I read some of the books, just to make myself feel less like a book hoarder.
THE OTHER THING I've been having problems with Blogger today. I apologize, in advance, if there are links that take you to weird places or if some of the posts appear multiple times. Know that I'm not trying to spam you or anything--- honestly, I love you guys. It's Blogger that needs a severe scolding.
Have a wonderful three-day weekend! Deserae
Commenting on Comments
Sonal- You're right! It's never too late. Thank you for being my Valentine, Dear, and I am so glad you're going to read TFiOS soon! It's actually going to be the first book featured on the new Ticket Elsewhere. Perhaps, if you read it by March 5th, you could talk about it conmigo! :] And it's true!!! I DO like grandmas!!!! I just don't like LOOKING like one, that's the trouble. You should definitely feel comfy in your cute specks because mine--- oi vey! Glad to be of service, Love! And thanks for the survey! I enjoyed reading your responses and posting some of my own. :)
These are my BrainBooks. And the one on the bottom (with the strawberries) was my very first love.
There's this company called OBON and they sell the most amazing products ever. My mom introduced me to the wonders of OBON when she supplied me with BrainBook 1, and I accepted it because I thought it was really pretty at the time.
My BrainBook came to me at the perfect moment, although I didn't know it at the time. I had just gotten myself through a bout of depression and little did I know, I was about to undergo a bit of actual drama with a group of people I called my friends at the time (long story. Maybe another time).
The point is, my BrainBook was there for me in my time of need. It helped me separate my dreams from reality, but was a place for me to focus on both. Here are some pages from this book, and then, we'll talk again:
In this BrainBook, I pretty much was the epitome of the multi-polar writer. One minute, I sang praises of the writing experience. I glorified writing and being a writer and doing writerly things. And then the next, I hated it all. And then after that I hated everything. And then after that, I could care less. And then after that, I proceeded to talk to myself and ramble in stream of consciousness.
My BrainBook consisted of three things: journals, ideas, and inspirational jargon. This is how it worked. If I had an idea, I had to journal first. I put the date in the upper right hand corner, the weather in the upper left, and then I wrote about my day--- anything that was on my mind, on my heart, or particularly boring, or particularly interesting. The goal was to fill a page if I started it. Didn't matter how many, but if I put a word on it, I would have to TRY to finish it. Then, I'd start a new page (all of which had titles!) and put that idea down on paper. It could be a brainstorm of a chapter I couldn't figure out, or an idea for a future book, or a song for a particular book, or a transcript of a phone call I had with my sisters about said book. And if I didn't have an idea, but I heard something I liked, that'll go down on a page after the daily entry.
These things are personal, but nothing that goes down on paper is private. So it was my place to say everything I wanted to say, so long as it was everything I needed to say.
I needed to add some of my personal life into the book to keep me rooted in the moments of angst, turmoil, and joy I felt on THAT day and in THAT instance. I needed to be free to express my anger, but I needed the constraint of a space that required me to THINK before I put anything in INK. I also needed a place where I could get all of my ideas out onto paper in an organized way so I wouldn't lose them and so I could visually SEE the dream. This first BrainBook was filled with love. It was the one that had the most of my heart.
If you have any questions about it, feel free to ask. BrainBook 2 is coming to you next Sunday.
Love,
Deserae
Commenting on Comments
Prerna- Couldn't agree with you more. We MUST work toward our dreams. Work is good sometimes.
Maya- Glad you were inspired! And I almost didn't believe that about Meg, either! One Hundred Rejections is a great blog. :) Definitely keep writing! And definitely keep reminding me to remind you to do it!
Sonal- Thanks, Love! You never fail to inspire me, either, so I try to return the favor when I can. :) Love ya much, Darling!
Arianna- You did?! That's fantastic! I'm glad you liked it and you're welcome. Always, always go for the gusto!
When I was little, my mom used this infamous excuse for making my little sister and I share EVERYTHING.
"Sharing is caring!" she'd sing with a mocking smile. For a long time, I hated the phrase, but I believe that it's true, now, because I honestly do find joy in sharing things with my sisters... with you...
So today, I thought I'd share some things. I'll even put these things into categories so you don't have to linger too long in any place that might not satisfy your interest. I feel like I'll do this more often. Maybe once every two weeks? That should be lovely.
Music
You guys know I'm unhealthily obsessed with music. It keeps me happy when reality cannot. So I'm always looking for yummy things to whet my appetite. Luckily for you, I am ALWAYS finding new things! (That was a joke. You may laugh now, if you wish.)
2. If you like Taylor Swift or Nickelodeon or both, and if you really like it when songs are upbeat and guys are depicted as faboo, you'll love Katelyn Tarver's "Favorite Girl." I know I do. I LOVE it.
3. If you're the kind of person who loves rediscovering music by some of your previously favorite bands, or if you like exploring music from popular groups that kind of got overlooked, you might like One Republic's "Someone to Save You." They just refuse to make suckish music, and I love them for that.
4. If you're a fan of supporting up and coming artists, WHY aren't you in love with Lewis Watson's "Bones" or "#3"?!?! Not only is he British. Awesome. British. And awesome. But he has an amazing voice and really beautiful lyrics accompany his songs. The above links are directly to his own videos (because THIS is how we support them--- by watching their videos, buying their music, and spreading the word!), but here are links to a Bones lyric video and a #3 lyric video so you can see what I mean before you become enraptured with his face (if freckles and shaggy hair is your thing).
5. And if like songs that are just fun to listen to over and over again, please check out Leila Broussard's "Masquerade" because you won't want to stop playing it. Promise.
Books
I haven't had a lot of time to read lately, but I am constantly reading reviews and scanning my Twitter Feed to see what's good in the literary world. And here's the general concensus:
So if any of you are looking for something to read, please pick it up and tell me I'd be crazy not to read this book. And if any of you are already John Green fans, tell me this: should I start with one of his earlier books and then pick up TFiOS? Or should I just take the plunge and let him rip my heart out? Let me know.
Blogs
Let me get all of the stuff that's not about writing out of the way... Now.
1. Adam Heine wrote a blog post about the secret to becoming talented. I found it very informative, and helpful in its own way. And kind of hilarious because, DUH! That's what I've been saying! (*COUGH!* Just go with it, people).
2. Bryarly Bishop (who isn't a writer so ha! It gets to go here! HA!) wrote a blog post about her olfactory sense, and I found it very interesting because, as a writer, I should be using all of my senses! Who knows whose nose knows?!
And now for writerly things...
3. YAtopia has been having a week full of awesome posts. The first one that caught my attention was an interview with two REGULAR teens about what they liked to read and how they came to those conclusions. And the second post was about the importance of "Beta-ing yourself up." Two great posts for the price of one blog.
4. Soon to be author, Natalie Whipple, has two posts I'd like to share with you. The first is a recent post about her noticing an improvement in her writing from when she first started out and now. She provides a link in the post that takes you to a video where she actually reads a sample from a (wait for it!...) zombie romance novel that she wrote many years ago and QUERIED. But even though she's mortified of that novel now, she notices the improvement and, as Prerna says in her post, "The Write Kind of Improvement," "if you've been writing consistently, you'll notice the improvement" just like Natalie did.
Also, here's a second post by Natalie from a while (a LONG while) back on what to do when you're going to have to rewrite your novelin order to get it to the place it needs to be. Natalie gives fantastic writing advice so I would definitely check out the Writing Advice tab on her blog. FULL of gems, it is. FULL, FULL of gems.
5. Is it vain to point out that I recently wrote a post about how writers have to write, no matter how much it hurts them? I couldn't have written it without your help, support, and your reminders of this very important fact. So check that out, Writers... If ya wanna.
Miscellaneous
Okay, really quickly:
1. A good friend of mine recently guest posted on My Ticket Home about her experience with self-harm and what one might do to overcome that. Please check out the post and comment if you can. It's a beautiful post written by THIS beautiful girl and it'd mean a lot to both of us if you checked it out. And while you're there, you should check out this special Daily Dose just about books!
2. Gallagher Girls (and Blackthorne Boys) BEHOLD! The Gallagher Academy has its own, official website! AND Ally Carter has an assistant now named Molly who has been posting fun riddles and excerpts on Ally's blog and has created an Ally Carter Tumblr for fan art and even more excerpts! Check it out!
3. Also, Alex Bennett is doing some cool new giveaways over at Electrifying Reviews. Check those out, should ye wish it by looking at the top of the right sidebar.
And that's all folk! I think. I feel like I spent a lot of time composing this post, but I honestly believe it's worth it to get the word out about all the awesome stuff I distract myself with throughout the week. So yeah! Enjoy! And let me know what cool things you've come across within the past week or two worth sharing!
Lots of love,
Deserae
Commenting on Comments
Prerna- It IS an awesome comment and I'm so serious! Copy, paste, and print that thing! When you surround yourself with beautifully inspiring things, you're sure to inspire something beautiful in someone else. :)
Maya- I'm so glad the post made you happy because your comment made me happy. It's very nice to return the favor. :) Thanks for your inspiring comment and your congratulations! Yes, the chapter of evil is DONE, but it needs lots of work. I know that and can't wait to finish this draft so I can go back through it and get 'er done. The "you'll never reach the end thing," came out just as you intended it to. Maybe I was the one who was unclear. What I meant to emote there was gratefulness toward you. The truth hurts sometimes but you were totally right. If I didn't get this chapter done, I WOULDN'T have been able to finish the entire book. And how is one to be an author without a book? I never wanted to "hear that again" because I never want to be the thing that comes between me and my dreams. I was the only one standing between me and the end at that point, and you're the one who totally made me see that. :)
So thank YOU, Love. Couldn't have done it without you and Aria and Prerna. But especially you because that comment MADE. ME. WRITE. And darn it! I did it. And boy do I feel good. Haha! I'm glad this came as a happy surprise. And I'm glad this comment came through! I meant it--- Blogger better not keep my brilliant commenters from commenting. Lol!
