Snapshot Saturday #5: Come in, Inspiration

It's been one of those days.
Okay weeks.
Okay... months.
It's been hard, to say the least.

There are days when I am all hyped up on happy juice and I want to save the world. And then there are days that I've been quiet about... The ones where I don't get out of bed until twelve because I had to do homework until four in the morning... The ones where I'm so upset, frustrated, defeated to the point where I'm literally shaking. Yeah. It's been hard. And I wasn't just "not talking about it" because I'm trying to keep some image up. I didn't talk about it because I didn't want it to be real. I don't know if you know what that feels like--- to have so much faith in the power of words that saying your down means you're nearly out.

I'm one of those people. The hopeless optimist. And even though some people wouldn't agree with that (yeah... I felt that sarcastic grimmace) I learned from the best how to have faith in tomorrow. I'm crazy in that way. There's always a chance for better, in my opinion. We just have to want it badly enough, and not be afraid to get it for ourselves.

So I've been trying. I've been doing different things to get my happy back. Because I'm not unhappy. I'm just in this state of stress that's overwhelming my spirit. And the way I've always climbed out of the holes I dig is to build myself a ladder. And I know what you're thinking: how do you build a ladder when you're in a hole? And the answer is simple: with imagination and creativity.

I've been up to things, and these things make me happy. I've been rewriting (yes... rewriting) that WIP that has nothing to do with Anna. I've been eating lots of mint chocolate chip ice-cream with Nutella and whipped cream (don't try this at home--- I'm a professional). And I've been honing my creativity by reminding myself of good things through my new blogs, My Ticket Home, and her sister, My Ticket Elsewhere.

If you need a break from your hectic life, or if you need some encouragement, or if you need some inspiration, or if you just want to look at and click on pretty pictures, please join me there. Both blogs are interactive in the sense that they will only run with your contributions. So tell your friends. Tweet about your favorite pages. Comment on the posts. And take advantage of the love the I and other people are putting into it so that you can find (and keep!) your happy, too.

Ciao, Bellas.

~Deserae <3
P.S. Oh, Gowe... How I love you. You'll love him, too. Check him out if you're not sure about rap. He. will. change. you.

Snapshot Saturday #3: College Life

So this post is going to be about college and a phrase I use three times in the following video:

Yes. I totally named that video "Be Encouraged!" exclamation point and all. Even though looking back on it, it's not the most encouraging video in the world... The point I wanted you guys to take from it was this: that we all feel lost and confused sometimes. That it can frustrate the heck out of us in the moment. But that if we pursue our dreams and our wants and our passions with vigor, in the end, we'll be victorious. We just can't be afraid to see the project through.

The phrase you heard three times up there and the phrase I'm using (cough, cough, coining, cough) to sort of embody and speak for this mentality is called being encouraged to not be discouraged. And I'm probably going to go a little motivational speaker on you guys as I go through this, but college life is a good example of this philosophy. Of not taking no for an answer.

REALLY QUICKLY -------->

The picture over there is a snapshot of the essay I'm writing for my mandatory class. It's finished, technically, but I'm a little upset the last paragraph didn't fit and there's random punctuation flowing throughout its veins. But ANYWAY, in this essay we had to think about something in our personal style that we "stole" from something or sometime else. I wrote about my pearls and how I wear them to project a "lady-like" image and also connote that I'm a modern Wonder-woman.

OKAY. NOW WE'RE ROLLING...

My sister and her hubby dropping me off first day

When you're in college, you literally have to make every decision for yourself. The easy ones like when you'll wake up, where you'll go eat, who you'll hang out with for the day, where you'll do it, when you'll come home, etc. are pretty much the decisions you're already making in high school, but they're amplified now that your parents are away.

View of the forest near my apartment

Now that you're completely in charge, you really get to explore the following questions: What do I want to do? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go? When do I want to get there? How am I going to get there? Why do I want this so much? And what's going to either stop me from getting what I want or help me get what I want? The questions don't need immediate answers, but they're always in the back of your mind. I was lucky. I kind of had a pretty good idea of a lot of the answers in high school, but now that I'm here, things like what I want are becoming a little blurry and how I'm going to get those things, blurrier still. But that's okay. I know, now, there are people here to help me. And while all of them REFUSE to just hand me answers (which is what I went into the office three times looking for!), all of them continued to try to nudge me in the right direction. In my opinion, they weren't nudging hard enough. But there was a nudge--- I felt the push--- and when I just decided to let go of their hand and jump, I found myself feeling a lot better--- more confident--- and now I'm in classes I love and am excited to be in.

Place where a baby deer was until I pulled out my camera

I felt lost for sure. I felt out of place and like the total stereotype of a freshman. Almost all of my apartment mates know exactly where they're going, they know the shortcuts, and they're not afraid to get lost. But me? I felt like the deer in the headlights. Confused. Out of place. About to die. Okay... so it wasn't THAT dramatic. But in the moment, it all felt so important. Like it was a sign from the heavens above that I wasn't meant to get to that freezing class after all. And maybe it was. I know it was, actually. Because now I'm in classes I love and WANT to be in. And that's the key thing here. Doing things you WANT to do. Not doing things you think you HAVE to do.

The bridge that takes me home

I just want to encourage you not to lose faith in yourself. To see that fork in the road and confidently set foot on the path you WANT to take. Don't hesitate. Don't doubt yourself even for a second. Because the thing is, there's going to be a day where you get to call all the shots. Start owning every decision, every step, every breath you make and take. This is your life. Own it. This is your shot. Take it. These are your dreams. Live them. And this is all you. So make it happen.

"Take a risk, take a chance, make a change,"
-Deserae <3

P.S. CALLING ALL ARTISTS!!! I want a "Encouraged not to be Discouraged" T-shirt, but I can't design anything! So if you want to make a design for me send it to scillafrederricks@hotmail.com and I'll get a shirt made for myself and the person who made the winning design! Make it happen, folks!

Snapshot Saturday #2: Don't Want This Anymore

EDITED TO ADD: I am posting the video in a Teaser Tuesday blog post! And the lyrics officially match what I'm singing! Yay!

So I was trying to upload a video of me singing the song I wrote for the chapter I'm working on, but the best I could do was supply a picture of me and the lyrics to the song. Enjoy!

Don't Want This Anymore -KISSE
Sometimes I have to wonder why I ever needed you.
You never really cared so I can play uncaring, too.
I went through heck and back to see
That you never wanted me
You proved to me this wasn't love.
Cupid shot me in the heart,
But perfect aim's a faulty art,
And I've finally had enough.

'Cause I thought that this was special; I guess that I was wrong.
This game that we've been playing--- I've finally had enough.
You thought you had me figured; you thought I'd be strung along.
I guess you were wrong. I guess we were wrong.
'Cause I don't want this---

Some nights when I would call you just to say hello,
You'd hang up--- I remember you'd hang up--- and I'd still be on the phone.
Holding hands was too stupid, too immature, too unsophisticated and overrated
Nothing ever pleased you, you know...
My friends act too obnoxiously, too uncontrolled, rambunctiously
You hated their loose behavior
You never talked to them but there you go...

I saw something in you; I thought you saw a something in me, too.
But here we stand, the sand's in hand and it's slipping through our fingers.
I wanted to be with you; I thought you wanted something with me, too.
But here we stand, the sand's in hand and it's slipping...

I thought that this was special, but I was wrong.
This game that we've been playing--- well have you had enough?
You thought you had me figured; you thought I'd be strung along.
I guess you were wrong. I guess we were wrong.
'Cause I don't want this---

Anymore...
Anymore...
Not anymore... Oh no...
And you thought you had me figured; you thought I'd be strung along.
But guess you were wrong, I guess we were wrong,
'Cause I don't want this...

Fin.

Take care,

<3
Deserae

Snapshot Saturday #1

Yes, yes... it's Sunday. BUT you still get the snapshot, don'tcha know? Here is a snap of my current WIP. It's the first part of chapter one. Lucky you!

I think if you clickity click on the picture, you can enlarge it. BUT, just in case that wasn't possible, I blew it up as large as I possibly could. :) And oh gosh... thanks to this snapshot, I just saw something I need to change. See?... You guys are helping me. Amanda's middle name is not really Natalia. What the freezing heck? Anywho, here is a picture of something that inspired me this week. Actually, I found this picture a while ago on Maya's blog, and I TOTALLY needed to share it with you. Because Anna kind of feels like the subject of this photo and the caption provides the LOL! moment that is her life. Love you guys mucho. Have an amazing rest of your weekend!

Hehe!
Deserae <3