Desi is Afraid

There comes a point in every little Deserae's life where she feels SO confident, and SO grand that the only logical thing for Life to do is to knock her off her high horse. And I think it's safe to say that all of us go through these random bursts of, "WHA?!?!?! But everything was going so well!" because let us face it--- Life likes to have a good laugh at our expense every now and again.

Thus was my reaction to my first day of classes. I am just now (after two quarters, the equivalent of six months as a college student) realizing that college? Well, it's hard.

I'm taking an honest to goodness English class. A class about literature as a SUBJECT rather than as a piece of culture. Meaning, we're talking about reading, and books, and what makes literature literature and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. As opposed to my Brit Lit class last quarter where we just read things and tried our hardest not to cry, or my Jewish Lit class where we read more things and pretended we finished all the novels, or EVEN the Greek Lit class I'm taking alongside Lit 1 where everything--- EVERYTHING!--- is WRITTEN IN ANCIENT GREEK!!!, THIS CLASS focuses on the WHY we read and WHY reading makes us feel the way we do and whether or not that is the fault or greatness of the WRITER or if it's the judgment bestowed upon the text by the reader... Guys I know that was a freaking long sentence but needless to say, I am TERRIFIED of how this quarter is going to go.

I did pretty alright last quarter. I got my first A as a college student, somehow managed to pull off a B in Greek, and passed the only class I attended every (okay ALMOST every) lecture for with a C (I told you Life was weird). But I don't know! For some reason, that all made me so determined to rock this quarter and then WHAT HAPPENS?!?!

Desi takes an intense Lit class dealing with the analysis of reading and literature as an art ON TOP OF taking a class that contains material that's only in another freaking language!!!

And my "just for fun and general eds" class turns out to be pretty hardcore for a class that promised we'd only be talking about boobs, periods, and menopause (it's Female Physiology; what'd you expect?!). I'm just DYING here and I haven't even started! There's something wrong with the world. Something very wrong indeed.

But on the bright side, I love both of my professors because, oh! Did I tell you? My Greek Lit and Lit 1 teacher are one 'n the same? Yes, yes. And I absolutely adore her. And thankfully my other professor is just as confident, fun, and kind, thank the Lord. And on the other bright side, my Greek Lit class is PURELY reading and quizzes based on that. No essays for that one or for Female Physiology, hallelujah! So it's only Lit 1 that I have to worry about for written assignments...  It's just going to be a lot of reading and a lot of work. That's why I need you guys to keep me sane.

Get it? Got it?

Good.
Deserae
P.S. Nicole and Maya, thanks for commenting last time. Love ya'll mucho and thanks for your well wishes. I did alright and I'm going to try to better. Pinky swear.